Really? You're cliche'd enough to drunk text me a long overdue apology at midnight?
Classy.
Just man up, godDAMN it. It wasn't enough to break my heart once, I suppose. I hope the second time was more satisfying for you. God help me, there will not be a third.
A drunk text. You cruel a-hole. How dare you do that to me? How DARE you. I would never use old secrets against you--but you? Knowing everything you know about me and my oldest hurts, you freaking DRUNK TEXT me? I pray you wakeup with a hangover tomorrow and that somewhere between the Asprin and the bathroom ...you blink, and realize what you did to me tonight. You know, for all of your bluster and bullshit about dreams and getting away, you belong in this sh-thole and that's why you'll never leave it. You're a coward. I guess you still have it in you to surprise me.
You're g-ddamn right I'm the keeping kind.
Don't you dare think you're somehow being noble with that bullcrap.
And I swear to all things holy if I run into you somewhere again, I will cause a scene the like you only READ about.
You epic douchebag.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Just for fun
Drew this in about two hours......it's more stop motion in places than true animation, but still fun :)
Not terrible for my first ever attempt at it
Not terrible for my first ever attempt at it
Sunday, March 13, 2011
10 Months and Counting
Official plan.
By January 2012 at the LATEST (or as soon as I have a respectable amount in my savings) I am doing the first truly reckless thing of my adult life.
I'm quitting my jobs and moving to a secluded farm in Idaho for 6 months to write full time.
I've wanted to be a published author since as far back as I can remember, and it's finally time to put my money where my mouth is.
I'll e-publish my first two or three books before seeking a contract with a traditional publishing house.
Right now I'm in the middle of the first book in a seven book fiction series about angels/demons/and the humans who are caught in the middle. Essentially, it's a series about God's special ops team with some fun, sarcasm, love, and awesome fighting thrown in.
I'm also working out a series in my head of sweet, simple love stories all centered around Eagle Creek, Oklahoma (heehee).
Lastly, I'll be working on my first love, my book I've been working on off and on since I was fourteen years old about Loralei called Siren.
So yeah...I'm quitting life to live off of savings and become a hermit writer.
And if I start to freak out, I'm 30 minutes away from a huge city with a decent job market, so practical Jess is also happy about this decision.
<3
By January 2012 at the LATEST (or as soon as I have a respectable amount in my savings) I am doing the first truly reckless thing of my adult life.
I'm quitting my jobs and moving to a secluded farm in Idaho for 6 months to write full time.
I've wanted to be a published author since as far back as I can remember, and it's finally time to put my money where my mouth is.
I'll e-publish my first two or three books before seeking a contract with a traditional publishing house.
Right now I'm in the middle of the first book in a seven book fiction series about angels/demons/and the humans who are caught in the middle. Essentially, it's a series about God's special ops team with some fun, sarcasm, love, and awesome fighting thrown in.
I'm also working out a series in my head of sweet, simple love stories all centered around Eagle Creek, Oklahoma (heehee).
Lastly, I'll be working on my first love, my book I've been working on off and on since I was fourteen years old about Loralei called Siren.
So yeah...I'm quitting life to live off of savings and become a hermit writer.
And if I start to freak out, I'm 30 minutes away from a huge city with a decent job market, so practical Jess is also happy about this decision.
<3
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Obligatory Post
It's been quite some time since I last posted.
I was thinking it's because I didn't really have much to say or because I was being lazy.
While the latter part of that statement is indeed very likely, the honest truth is I have plenty to say. I just don't know that I want to dig through all of it and try to string together enough words to make it seem logical to anyone else.
I'm okay. I mean, life is unexpected and the closer to thirty I get, the more I crave something finite-something that's mine.
So I'm...working on it. Scheming, strategizing, trying my best to get a game plan in action.
I have the makings of a good one, it's just....
gotta keep swimming.
And yay, Valentine's Day is Monday (she says in her most deadpan voice).
I was thinking it's because I didn't really have much to say or because I was being lazy.
While the latter part of that statement is indeed very likely, the honest truth is I have plenty to say. I just don't know that I want to dig through all of it and try to string together enough words to make it seem logical to anyone else.
I'm okay. I mean, life is unexpected and the closer to thirty I get, the more I crave something finite-something that's mine.
So I'm...working on it. Scheming, strategizing, trying my best to get a game plan in action.
I have the makings of a good one, it's just....
gotta keep swimming.
And yay, Valentine's Day is Monday (she says in her most deadpan voice).
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Unbelievably Easy Cream Cheese Danish
I mean, really. It's unbelievable how easy this teeny little danishes are. Or maybe we should call them Danishettes.
Are they as flaky and fabulous as the huge danish you get from your favorite bakery? Of course not. But hey, for 20 minutes and under $3 for a ton of these little ladies, I call this recipe a KEEPER.
You need:
2 Cans of crescent rolls
***Leave rolled up. Slice into 1/4" thick slices. Lay slices flat on cookie sheet (I bake mine on parchment paper so nothing sticks). Use your fingers to flatten the center of each disc.
For Filling:
1 block of cream cheese
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 C plus 2 TBS sugar
***MIX UNTIL SMOOTH. Put 1 generous tsp of filling in the center of each danishette***
BAKE AT 350 for 12-15minutes until pastry edges are light golden brown.
For Glaze (Mix together while danishettes are baking):
2 C Powdered sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp lemon juice
1 TBS melted butter
***Mix until smooth...if mixture is too thick, add water 1TBS at a time until desired thickness (shoot for a smooth pancake syrup type consistency). If mixture is too thin, add more powdered sugar. To glaze danishetter, dip a fork into your glaze and quickly move back and forth over danishettes, re-dipping fork as needed. You want them streaked with glaze. You don't want glops of glaze to fall in large puddles on them It won't be as pretty.***
This makes 35-40 Danishettes. YUM!!
You can mix it up by adding jelly or pie filling to the cream cheese or even just doing pie filling without the cream cheese. That would make these little ladies go even quicker!
Are they as flaky and fabulous as the huge danish you get from your favorite bakery? Of course not. But hey, for 20 minutes and under $3 for a ton of these little ladies, I call this recipe a KEEPER.
You need:
2 Cans of crescent rolls
***Leave rolled up. Slice into 1/4" thick slices. Lay slices flat on cookie sheet (I bake mine on parchment paper so nothing sticks). Use your fingers to flatten the center of each disc.
For Filling:
1 block of cream cheese
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 C plus 2 TBS sugar
***MIX UNTIL SMOOTH. Put 1 generous tsp of filling in the center of each danishette***
BAKE AT 350 for 12-15minutes until pastry edges are light golden brown.
For Glaze (Mix together while danishettes are baking):
2 C Powdered sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp lemon juice
1 TBS melted butter
***Mix until smooth...if mixture is too thick, add water 1TBS at a time until desired thickness (shoot for a smooth pancake syrup type consistency). If mixture is too thin, add more powdered sugar. To glaze danishetter, dip a fork into your glaze and quickly move back and forth over danishettes, re-dipping fork as needed. You want them streaked with glaze. You don't want glops of glaze to fall in large puddles on them It won't be as pretty.***
This makes 35-40 Danishettes. YUM!!
You can mix it up by adding jelly or pie filling to the cream cheese or even just doing pie filling without the cream cheese. That would make these little ladies go even quicker!
Monday, January 24, 2011
BEST BREAD PUDDING EVER. Seriously. EVER.
Best Bread Pudding EVER EVER EVER
3-4 C of cubed day old bread (French or Italian work well)
2 C sugar
5 eggs
2 C milk
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 C packed brown sugar
1 stick softened butter
1 Cup coarse chopped pecans (if you want, if not it's fine to leave out)
Preheat Oven to 350. Whisk together sugar, eggs, and milk. Add vanilla and whisk again. Pour over bread and fold gently. Allow to soak into bread for 10 mins.
Grease a 9X13 pan and pour bread pudding base into it.
In a separate bowl, use a fork to combine brown sugar, butter, and nuts until you have a crumbly mixture. Spread evenly over top of bread pudding. Bake for 40 minutes.
SAUCE:
1 C sugar
1/2 stick butter
2 tsp vanilla
1 beaten egg
1/4 C brandy or butterscotch schnapps.
Combine sugar, butter, vanilla, and egg in a pot and slowly bring up the heat, stirring constantly until you hit a medium heat and the sugar is dissolved (DEFINITELY start cool and work up to the heat, though, otherwise you will scramble that egg!)
When sugar has dissolved, add liquor. Cook over medium heat stirring frequently for 3-5 minutes.
Pour sauce over bread pudding.
Eat hot or cold.
SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOD
3-4 C of cubed day old bread (French or Italian work well)
2 C sugar
5 eggs
2 C milk
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 C packed brown sugar
1 stick softened butter
1 Cup coarse chopped pecans (if you want, if not it's fine to leave out)
Preheat Oven to 350. Whisk together sugar, eggs, and milk. Add vanilla and whisk again. Pour over bread and fold gently. Allow to soak into bread for 10 mins.
Grease a 9X13 pan and pour bread pudding base into it.
In a separate bowl, use a fork to combine brown sugar, butter, and nuts until you have a crumbly mixture. Spread evenly over top of bread pudding. Bake for 40 minutes.
SAUCE:
1 C sugar
1/2 stick butter
2 tsp vanilla
1 beaten egg
1/4 C brandy or butterscotch schnapps.
Combine sugar, butter, vanilla, and egg in a pot and slowly bring up the heat, stirring constantly until you hit a medium heat and the sugar is dissolved (DEFINITELY start cool and work up to the heat, though, otherwise you will scramble that egg!)
When sugar has dissolved, add liquor. Cook over medium heat stirring frequently for 3-5 minutes.
Pour sauce over bread pudding.
Eat hot or cold.
SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOD
Monday, January 17, 2011
Ohhhhhhhhhhh my......
Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies (as found by magic on allrecipes.com)
Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
Directions
1.Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.
2.Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt; set aside.
3.In a medium bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar and white sugar until well blended. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in the sifted ingredients until just blended. Stir in the chocolate chips by hand using a wooden spoon. Drop cookie dough 1/4 cup at a time onto the prepared cookie sheets. Cookies should be about 3 inches apart.
4.Bake for 15 to 17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges are lightly toasted. Cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.
Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
Directions
1.Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.
2.Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt; set aside.
3.In a medium bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar and white sugar until well blended. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in the sifted ingredients until just blended. Stir in the chocolate chips by hand using a wooden spoon. Drop cookie dough 1/4 cup at a time onto the prepared cookie sheets. Cookies should be about 3 inches apart.
4.Bake for 15 to 17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges are lightly toasted. Cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Planning
Person: Why are you so anal about planning stuff? You should chill out and just go with the flow more.
Me: Okay. I'll try and do that.
(fast forward a few weeks)
I get to hang out with Person tonight, I think. I have dinner with sad girlfriend first, but then hang time with Person. REFUSE to overplan tonight as per previous ribbing from Person.
Big surprise...ambiguous plans with Person don't pan out.
And you WONDER why I make firm plans? Really?
Because if I don't, I never see you. Duh.
;-)
Me: Okay. I'll try and do that.
(fast forward a few weeks)
I get to hang out with Person tonight, I think. I have dinner with sad girlfriend first, but then hang time with Person. REFUSE to overplan tonight as per previous ribbing from Person.
Big surprise...ambiguous plans with Person don't pan out.
And you WONDER why I make firm plans? Really?
Because if I don't, I never see you. Duh.
;-)
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Things I would like for people, ESPECIALLY men, to know about courtesy
After conversing with three of my nearest and dearest gal pals in the past few days and reflecting on what we've chatted about, I have a few things I'd like to put out into the ether:
1. It is common courtesy when making plans with another person to both REMEMBER that you've made them and also follow through on actually doing whatever it is you have planned to do. If unable to follow through, the decent thing to do is to notify the other party or parties immediately upon learning that you will be unable to do what you have planned. You know, people make fun of me for making lists and for overpreparing things, and fine--there are definitely times I could relax a bit. HOWEVER, if you're someone I've taken the time to make plans with, it's because you're important to me or the thing we're meeting about or doing is important. So when I take the time to confirm plans with you, it's because I am genuinely looking forward to the thing we're supposed to do. Consequently, when you fail to either keep our plans or notify me of the changes, it makes me feel devalued. If I were a priority to you, you would have found the time and courtesy to either keep the plans or notify me. Also, for men who want to be dating women: when you are wishy-washy and non-committal in your planning, it makes you appear less trustworthy. Just a heads up.
2. Gifts: we all know that it is the thought that counts. ESPECIALLY in romantic settings. However, there comes a point in adult relationships that a gift card just becomes insulting. A gift card says "I haven't paid enough attention to you to know what you'd actually like" OR "Eh, you do it. I can't be bothered." A gift could cost you nothing and take you a few hours to make and be more loved and valued than a $200 necklace. At some point "You're hard to shop for" becomes a bullshit cop out.
3. If you like someone romantically, then you FUCKING make time for them. Do not expect someone to make you a priority in their life when they are a convenience or an option in yours. Turnabout is fair play and you get what you give.
4. Being a good person and making good choices does not guarantee that you will be happy or get what you deserve. EVERYONE should keep this in mind, especially if you're someone who currently happens to be happy and in love and are friends with people who are not. Those of us who aren't currently happily ensconced in lovey-dovey land are VERY happy for you. We are your friends and we love you. But please remember, our entire lives and our relationships with you will not suddenly REVOLVE around your new boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee, husband, or wife. If you and I were friends before your honey bunny came into the picture, and you'd like to keep that friendship, I highly recommend that you remember to periodically ask about ME and MY life and that every time we DO talk about my life it's not an opportunity for you to say things like "you're such a great catch, I know you'll meet someone amazing and then we can double date!" I do not want either your false reassurances OR your underhanded attempt to bring the conversation back to you.
5. I will make mistakes in my dating life. I've made some EPIC ones previously and I'm almost certain to make more. I'm glad we're close enough for you to be honest with me and tell me what you think about my situation, but realize that at the end of the day, I will make whatever choice I decide to make with or without your approval. I'm the one who has to go home with me when the night is over and live with what I've done, not you. So if I go out on a thin limb or swing for the fence on a longshot, then keep your mouth shut on the sidelines unless it's to cheer me on. And if I fall on my face or humiliate myself, then yes, friend, I expect you to grab me an ice pack, and bring over a bottle of wine and a funny movie. It's the LEAST you can do since I know you'll be doing the 'I told you so' tapdance sooner or later.
6. Men, get your shit together. Women, you get your shit together, too. At some point we all need to stop expecting perfection from each other. We are real people, warts and all, and this clip from Dan Savage is possibly one of the most accurate things I have EVER come across regarding relationships.
So here are my five or less things that I think for me are legitimate deal breakers in a relationship:
1. If you ever hurt me on purpose, either blatantly or by your total thoughtlessness. This includes your apathy, which is worse than your fist.
And that's it. Honestly, after thinking about this for two days, that's the ONLY unforgivable thing I can think of.
1. It is common courtesy when making plans with another person to both REMEMBER that you've made them and also follow through on actually doing whatever it is you have planned to do. If unable to follow through, the decent thing to do is to notify the other party or parties immediately upon learning that you will be unable to do what you have planned. You know, people make fun of me for making lists and for overpreparing things, and fine--there are definitely times I could relax a bit. HOWEVER, if you're someone I've taken the time to make plans with, it's because you're important to me or the thing we're meeting about or doing is important. So when I take the time to confirm plans with you, it's because I am genuinely looking forward to the thing we're supposed to do. Consequently, when you fail to either keep our plans or notify me of the changes, it makes me feel devalued. If I were a priority to you, you would have found the time and courtesy to either keep the plans or notify me. Also, for men who want to be dating women: when you are wishy-washy and non-committal in your planning, it makes you appear less trustworthy. Just a heads up.
2. Gifts: we all know that it is the thought that counts. ESPECIALLY in romantic settings. However, there comes a point in adult relationships that a gift card just becomes insulting. A gift card says "I haven't paid enough attention to you to know what you'd actually like" OR "Eh, you do it. I can't be bothered." A gift could cost you nothing and take you a few hours to make and be more loved and valued than a $200 necklace. At some point "You're hard to shop for" becomes a bullshit cop out.
3. If you like someone romantically, then you FUCKING make time for them. Do not expect someone to make you a priority in their life when they are a convenience or an option in yours. Turnabout is fair play and you get what you give.
4. Being a good person and making good choices does not guarantee that you will be happy or get what you deserve. EVERYONE should keep this in mind, especially if you're someone who currently happens to be happy and in love and are friends with people who are not. Those of us who aren't currently happily ensconced in lovey-dovey land are VERY happy for you. We are your friends and we love you. But please remember, our entire lives and our relationships with you will not suddenly REVOLVE around your new boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee, husband, or wife. If you and I were friends before your honey bunny came into the picture, and you'd like to keep that friendship, I highly recommend that you remember to periodically ask about ME and MY life and that every time we DO talk about my life it's not an opportunity for you to say things like "you're such a great catch, I know you'll meet someone amazing and then we can double date!" I do not want either your false reassurances OR your underhanded attempt to bring the conversation back to you.
5. I will make mistakes in my dating life. I've made some EPIC ones previously and I'm almost certain to make more. I'm glad we're close enough for you to be honest with me and tell me what you think about my situation, but realize that at the end of the day, I will make whatever choice I decide to make with or without your approval. I'm the one who has to go home with me when the night is over and live with what I've done, not you. So if I go out on a thin limb or swing for the fence on a longshot, then keep your mouth shut on the sidelines unless it's to cheer me on. And if I fall on my face or humiliate myself, then yes, friend, I expect you to grab me an ice pack, and bring over a bottle of wine and a funny movie. It's the LEAST you can do since I know you'll be doing the 'I told you so' tapdance sooner or later.
6. Men, get your shit together. Women, you get your shit together, too. At some point we all need to stop expecting perfection from each other. We are real people, warts and all, and this clip from Dan Savage is possibly one of the most accurate things I have EVER come across regarding relationships.
So here are my five or less things that I think for me are legitimate deal breakers in a relationship:
1. If you ever hurt me on purpose, either blatantly or by your total thoughtlessness. This includes your apathy, which is worse than your fist.
And that's it. Honestly, after thinking about this for two days, that's the ONLY unforgivable thing I can think of.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Current Guilty Pleasure Musical LOVE
Thanks to Sylwia.
The artist? Gustav. A badass German chick with a macbook pro and a voice.
The song du jour? Total Quality Woman.
The artist? Gustav. A badass German chick with a macbook pro and a voice.
The song du jour? Total Quality Woman.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Hockey Honey
This is the hott cartoon version of me. As a Pens fan. Tied to a hockey stick.
Rob Ullman is a talented dude.
Rob Ullman is a talented dude.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
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