lol....
couldn't resist the blog title.
I just signed on to costume design a really cool little film project.
I just finished the script and it's gonna be FUN!! Plus I get to work with Sylwia, who is one of my favorite people.
So what if I just added like 30% workload to my life. It'll just feel like Tallahassee again, and as they say, there's no place like home ;-)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Re-Visiting an Old Friend
So, this is a post that began back in 2007 on my facebook notes page. I like to revisit this one periodically, especially on weeks when I'm feeling especially lonely and left out. Any of my single buddies, you know how this goes. One day you're FINE with your singleness, and then out of no-where you get that lost, sad, stricken, panicked 'i'm going to die alone and why doesn't anyone like me' feeling. So, during one such time, I wrote this little gem:
Here's the thing: I have a "well-meaning friend" who is a married psychology major. She likes to throw little 'I'm better than you because I'm married' darts at me. Here's a dart from a few months back. A bullcrap article from one of her classes about how all women want to be married and we are our own worst enemies because we build these walls because we don't think we deserve to be happy...blah blah blah yadda bullcrap yadda...
The article ends with homework. You're supposed to fill in the blank honestly.
I am still single because ___________.
Then you're supposed to make a committment to 'erase the blank' of your life. *smirk* so here's my homework:
Because I routinely wear old, comfy, holy clothes at home.
Because I dont think its unreasonable to expect a door to be held open for me.
Because I have like ten pillows that each have a specific place when i sleep.
Because I hate finding estranged body hair in my shower/sink/toilet/deodorant/razor.
Because I have a very definite television watching schedule that I adhere to.
Because while I'm an exceptional cook, I'd usually rather just have pizza.
Because toothpaste lasts forever if you don’t have to share it.
Because I like my house to be between 65-72 degrees year round, no matter the bills.
Because I often make strange dinners out of whatever I happen to have in the fridge.
Because I have extraordinarily indescribable bed hair one out of every three nights.
Because I like to stand in front of the mirror and make faces at myself for periods of time.
Because I listen to folk, country, oldies, musicals, etc in the same mix.
Because I spend a lot of time imitating parts of movies I like or singing at a loud volume.
Because my car is usually full of crap and I have no intention of having it detailed.
Because I'd rather take a long, aimless drive with good music and take pics than anything.
Because I hate feeling like I have to explain or justify myself.
Because I usually have at least three unfinished art projects laying around.
Because I can be neurotic like you wouldn’t believe.
Because I can happily spend hours reading, and usually cheesy fiction.
Because I have an extremely strange sense of humor including sarcasm and cheesiness.
Because I am terrible at remembering to take out the trash. I know its gross, but hey.
Because I am unbelievably awkward when it comes to taking money, help, compliments.
Because I can get incredibly insecure and self-protecting.
Because any guy knowing about and seeing first-hand any of the above listed things would find them cute in the beginning but would begin to plot an escape somewhere around month three and frankly I think I’m saving us both a lot of time by skipping ahead to the three month mark and ending it gracefully now since I have no intention of changing any of the above behaviors any time soon.
*Smile* Sometimes it just feels good to remember it all and see it written out like that.
Here's the thing: I have a "well-meaning friend" who is a married psychology major. She likes to throw little 'I'm better than you because I'm married' darts at me. Here's a dart from a few months back. A bullcrap article from one of her classes about how all women want to be married and we are our own worst enemies because we build these walls because we don't think we deserve to be happy...blah blah blah yadda bullcrap yadda...
The article ends with homework. You're supposed to fill in the blank honestly.
I am still single because ___________.
Then you're supposed to make a committment to 'erase the blank' of your life. *smirk* so here's my homework:
Because I routinely wear old, comfy, holy clothes at home.
Because I dont think its unreasonable to expect a door to be held open for me.
Because I have like ten pillows that each have a specific place when i sleep.
Because I hate finding estranged body hair in my shower/sink/toilet/deodorant/razor.
Because I have a very definite television watching schedule that I adhere to.
Because while I'm an exceptional cook, I'd usually rather just have pizza.
Because toothpaste lasts forever if you don’t have to share it.
Because I like my house to be between 65-72 degrees year round, no matter the bills.
Because I often make strange dinners out of whatever I happen to have in the fridge.
Because I have extraordinarily indescribable bed hair one out of every three nights.
Because I like to stand in front of the mirror and make faces at myself for periods of time.
Because I listen to folk, country, oldies, musicals, etc in the same mix.
Because I spend a lot of time imitating parts of movies I like or singing at a loud volume.
Because my car is usually full of crap and I have no intention of having it detailed.
Because I'd rather take a long, aimless drive with good music and take pics than anything.
Because I hate feeling like I have to explain or justify myself.
Because I usually have at least three unfinished art projects laying around.
Because I can be neurotic like you wouldn’t believe.
Because I can happily spend hours reading, and usually cheesy fiction.
Because I have an extremely strange sense of humor including sarcasm and cheesiness.
Because I am terrible at remembering to take out the trash. I know its gross, but hey.
Because I am unbelievably awkward when it comes to taking money, help, compliments.
Because I can get incredibly insecure and self-protecting.
Because any guy knowing about and seeing first-hand any of the above listed things would find them cute in the beginning but would begin to plot an escape somewhere around month three and frankly I think I’m saving us both a lot of time by skipping ahead to the three month mark and ending it gracefully now since I have no intention of changing any of the above behaviors any time soon.
*Smile* Sometimes it just feels good to remember it all and see it written out like that.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Studio
To studio or not to studio? That is the question...
I have a line on a possible loft space on the square in downtown Mangum. I'm not HUGELY fond of shooting posed studio shots, but it's a very easy walk to the fun and funky downtown and plus, I can control the level of cheesiness I allow in my studio (not getting the background that looks like laser beams, for example...)
The more I think about this, the more I enjoy the possibilities. We shall see. We shall see.....
Also, today is the 15th Anniversary of the OKC Bombing. Because of that, I'm reposting some pics:
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Breathe
Whistler's Nocturne in Black and Gold: The Falling Rocket
This is one of my favorite paintings EVER. Sometimes I like to close my eyes and picture that I jump into it and shrink down, Mary Poppins style, and just stand in the midst of the shadow and sparks and just tilt my face up and breathe. It is delightful. I wish that just ONCE I could actually dream that, just to have that reality, even while I'm sleeping. Pure awesome.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
RIP Dixie Carter
Your "Julia Sugarbaker" was and always will be one of my heroes! She was a successful, classy, spunky, and surprisingly funny lady.
One of my all time FAVORITE Julia moments:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz_ZpoYBzaw
One of my all time FAVORITE Julia moments:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz_ZpoYBzaw
Friday, April 9, 2010
HOORAY X2
So, first, this is my 100th Blog Post! HOORAY!! Not bad for a girl who never kept a diary more than five pages in.
Second, I just got offered a GREAT job for most of the month of June!! I'll be living at Quartz Mountain in my very own room and basically helping to run the Oklahoma Summer Arts Institute. BONUS: I can STILL do Pathways, so no problems there. BETTER BONUS: I get to work with one of my FAVORITE people I've ever worked with. EXTRA BONUS: I get paid.
Awesomeness ensues.
And thank God. I was DEFINITELY due. lol
Second, I just got offered a GREAT job for most of the month of June!! I'll be living at Quartz Mountain in my very own room and basically helping to run the Oklahoma Summer Arts Institute. BONUS: I can STILL do Pathways, so no problems there. BETTER BONUS: I get to work with one of my FAVORITE people I've ever worked with. EXTRA BONUS: I get paid.
Awesomeness ensues.
And thank God. I was DEFINITELY due. lol
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Very Bad Things.
So honestly, I BARELY know where to begin.
Saturday was okay. Really. Went with my mom to deliver some Easter goodies. An old man at the nursing home complimented my "Pretty Teeth" repeatedly. I got offered some pudding. Good times. We then went driving around so I could take pics and found this awesome place in Merritt where they have ZEBRAS, emu, ostriches, reindeer, and longhorns. Oh, and a water buffalo. So that was fun and I will post pics soon. Ate at a GREAT place called Simon's Catch. Then Saturday night happened.
Lonliest night of the year so far. Vigil mass was THREE hours of nobody sitting by me. Seriously. And it was pitch black for most of mass at 11 at night. Sitting in a dark church by yourself when half of the mass is in Spanish is lonely. BAD lonely. And my candle kept dripping on my fingers, no matter what I tried. My heart was literally breaking. I really missed my 'family.'
Then came the Blind Date. Yeah, I've never actually done one, but he's a friend of a friend, so I'm thinking "How Bad Can It Be?" NEVER underestimate how bad it can be.
We meet at Backdoor Steakhouse. Fine, it's Blair but it's a nice place. He got there like 25 mins early. So I already felt bad by being on time. Then I get there and almost RIGHT away he's Mr. Alpha Male. I sat across from him instead of next to him. He really didn't seem to like that at all. Then he starts talking. And talking. And talking. And my 'old fashioned' blind date has a mouth like a drunken, pervy sailor. So I very slyly and gently say, in case he didn't know, that I'm a pretty conservative practicing Christian Catholic. It's not fair to hold it against him if he doesn't know he's offending me, right? Well, this does not change a THING. He keeps going on and on about how he's never been to college and how he's so good at what he does so he keeps getting these great jobs all over, blah blah. Fine. He seriously talked about himself for EVER. Telling me ALL about his cool former boss at his last job who once walked in on him 'doing' his supervisor on the conference table and was really cool about it. And I guess they used to all go to strip clubs on Fridays. Yeah, great boss. He then proceeds to tell me how within a week of living at his last place, he was out meeting people and went to this guys house to play a game kind of like Dungeons and Dragons. I guess the guy whose house it was was some kind of legend and "John" my date was like "Yeah, he BARELY beat me and wouldn't shut up about it. Whatever, he's 30 and lives in his parent's basement. I was like "I'm gonna go get some pussy I didn't pay for and probably a blow job, so yeah. Way to go for beating me, loser.""
I'm TOTALLY serious. GREAT respectful first date conversation, right? But THEN.....
About fifteen minutes after dinner arrives, "John" is like "It's so nice that you're smart. Around here, that's hard to find. I'm like, you know, eventually, I'm gonna pull my dick out of your mouth and then you better have something interesting to say."
...........
..............
SERIOUSLY?!?!? I almost wanted to cry. WHO SAYS THAT?! TO A GIRL?!?! ON THE FIRST DATE???!!! I should have walked out. I should have SLAPPED him and walked out. But my stupid manners. *sigh* So we finish dinner and then I want to take some pics of the mural on the back of the building. So we 'walk' around Blair. The conversation gets WORSE. He's so arrogant and full of himself and gets PISSED when I disagree with anything. So I'm trying to walk back to my car and he wants to show me his motorcycle, which is on the way. Sidebar, he doesn't wear a helmet OR road gear. Idiot. THEN he wants to talk about politics. And healthcare reform. And religion. And he says "Communism and Christianity are the same. They both are based in people's ability to care about each other." And I'm like "Actually, you're totally wrong. Christianity is about God KNOWING people are selfish and flawed, and even when we TRY to care, it's not always with pure motivation. That's why Christianity is 100% about the Person of Jesus Christ. You put your faith in HIM because humans will let you down every time." And he was pissed off AGAIN. He then decides to start showing me all of his 'stab wound scars.' I'm totally serious.
Apparently, he lived in Berlin from age 10-18 and was in a lot of fights. Then he also worked for Dallas PD. While regaling me with all of these fight stories, he goes "But I would never hit a girl. I mean, not like in a fight. Cuz, you know, rough stuff between the sheets is different. Like, spanking and stuff doesn't break bones. And like, there are safety words and stuff."
?!?!?!?!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!????!!!! FIRST DATE!!!!
So then he tells me about his friend who is his same age (36) and 'saving himself for marriage' which "John" is blown away by. So I say "Yeah, actually, I'm not planning to have sex until I get married. I know it's old fashioned, but I'm giving it a shot." So "John" (and by the way, he knows what I do for a living because we talked about it a little) goes "Well how to you feel about oral sex? Or anal? Cuz, you know, it's not like those are SEX sex."
ahem.
So I'm like "Yeah, those count as sex for me, so no, I don't do those things."
So he says "Yeah, I mean, I guess I see your point. If I did those things with a fourteen year old, I would go to jail, so yeah, that's sex."
SERIOUSLY almost cried.
After more CHARMING conversation (During which he TOTALLY kept farting, by the way, and thy were SBDs) I was like "Yeah, I'm gonna go. I try to limit my first dates to two hours." He looked REALLY surprised. So I said "Well, I've been on some EPICALLY bad ones, you see." And I opened my car door and stuck my hand waaaaaay out away from me to shake his.
Date over.
DEAR GOD. WHY?!?!?!
Saturday was okay. Really. Went with my mom to deliver some Easter goodies. An old man at the nursing home complimented my "Pretty Teeth" repeatedly. I got offered some pudding. Good times. We then went driving around so I could take pics and found this awesome place in Merritt where they have ZEBRAS, emu, ostriches, reindeer, and longhorns. Oh, and a water buffalo. So that was fun and I will post pics soon. Ate at a GREAT place called Simon's Catch. Then Saturday night happened.
Lonliest night of the year so far. Vigil mass was THREE hours of nobody sitting by me. Seriously. And it was pitch black for most of mass at 11 at night. Sitting in a dark church by yourself when half of the mass is in Spanish is lonely. BAD lonely. And my candle kept dripping on my fingers, no matter what I tried. My heart was literally breaking. I really missed my 'family.'
Then came the Blind Date. Yeah, I've never actually done one, but he's a friend of a friend, so I'm thinking "How Bad Can It Be?" NEVER underestimate how bad it can be.
We meet at Backdoor Steakhouse. Fine, it's Blair but it's a nice place. He got there like 25 mins early. So I already felt bad by being on time. Then I get there and almost RIGHT away he's Mr. Alpha Male. I sat across from him instead of next to him. He really didn't seem to like that at all. Then he starts talking. And talking. And talking. And my 'old fashioned' blind date has a mouth like a drunken, pervy sailor. So I very slyly and gently say, in case he didn't know, that I'm a pretty conservative practicing Christian Catholic. It's not fair to hold it against him if he doesn't know he's offending me, right? Well, this does not change a THING. He keeps going on and on about how he's never been to college and how he's so good at what he does so he keeps getting these great jobs all over, blah blah. Fine. He seriously talked about himself for EVER. Telling me ALL about his cool former boss at his last job who once walked in on him 'doing' his supervisor on the conference table and was really cool about it. And I guess they used to all go to strip clubs on Fridays. Yeah, great boss. He then proceeds to tell me how within a week of living at his last place, he was out meeting people and went to this guys house to play a game kind of like Dungeons and Dragons. I guess the guy whose house it was was some kind of legend and "John" my date was like "Yeah, he BARELY beat me and wouldn't shut up about it. Whatever, he's 30 and lives in his parent's basement. I was like "I'm gonna go get some pussy I didn't pay for and probably a blow job, so yeah. Way to go for beating me, loser.""
I'm TOTALLY serious. GREAT respectful first date conversation, right? But THEN.....
About fifteen minutes after dinner arrives, "John" is like "It's so nice that you're smart. Around here, that's hard to find. I'm like, you know, eventually, I'm gonna pull my dick out of your mouth and then you better have something interesting to say."
...........
..............
SERIOUSLY?!?!? I almost wanted to cry. WHO SAYS THAT?! TO A GIRL?!?! ON THE FIRST DATE???!!! I should have walked out. I should have SLAPPED him and walked out. But my stupid manners. *sigh* So we finish dinner and then I want to take some pics of the mural on the back of the building. So we 'walk' around Blair. The conversation gets WORSE. He's so arrogant and full of himself and gets PISSED when I disagree with anything. So I'm trying to walk back to my car and he wants to show me his motorcycle, which is on the way. Sidebar, he doesn't wear a helmet OR road gear. Idiot. THEN he wants to talk about politics. And healthcare reform. And religion. And he says "Communism and Christianity are the same. They both are based in people's ability to care about each other." And I'm like "Actually, you're totally wrong. Christianity is about God KNOWING people are selfish and flawed, and even when we TRY to care, it's not always with pure motivation. That's why Christianity is 100% about the Person of Jesus Christ. You put your faith in HIM because humans will let you down every time." And he was pissed off AGAIN. He then decides to start showing me all of his 'stab wound scars.' I'm totally serious.
Apparently, he lived in Berlin from age 10-18 and was in a lot of fights. Then he also worked for Dallas PD. While regaling me with all of these fight stories, he goes "But I would never hit a girl. I mean, not like in a fight. Cuz, you know, rough stuff between the sheets is different. Like, spanking and stuff doesn't break bones. And like, there are safety words and stuff."
?!?!?!?!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!????!!!! FIRST DATE!!!!
So then he tells me about his friend who is his same age (36) and 'saving himself for marriage' which "John" is blown away by. So I say "Yeah, actually, I'm not planning to have sex until I get married. I know it's old fashioned, but I'm giving it a shot." So "John" (and by the way, he knows what I do for a living because we talked about it a little) goes "Well how to you feel about oral sex? Or anal? Cuz, you know, it's not like those are SEX sex."
ahem.
So I'm like "Yeah, those count as sex for me, so no, I don't do those things."
So he says "Yeah, I mean, I guess I see your point. If I did those things with a fourteen year old, I would go to jail, so yeah, that's sex."
SERIOUSLY almost cried.
After more CHARMING conversation (During which he TOTALLY kept farting, by the way, and thy were SBDs) I was like "Yeah, I'm gonna go. I try to limit my first dates to two hours." He looked REALLY surprised. So I said "Well, I've been on some EPICALLY bad ones, you see." And I opened my car door and stuck my hand waaaaaay out away from me to shake his.
Date over.
DEAR GOD. WHY?!?!?!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Bottleneck
MUCH longer blog happenig very soon. For now let me just say
GRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAARRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Boo. Hiss.
GRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAARRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Boo. Hiss.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Carnivals, Vietnam, Dragons, OHP, oh my
I've had a very packed couple of days and an overall ......HEAVY kind of week. Weird and hard things were just raining down out of the ether, I suppose, and me without my umbrella ;-)
Stewie had an encounter with a rooster today which somehow made him have psycho jungle Vietnam style flashbacks. He turned totally feral and wouldn't let anyone near him and he kept trying to attack me for real and sneak up behind me. Finally he just ended up stalking me and mom for two hours while we were gardening and trying to bite our ankles. Then he ran up into this tree. It's stunts like this one that earned him the nickname Ill Bastardo.
Also, I am in LOVE with my new camera. IN LOVE. LOOOOVE.
And the spring carnival is in town, oh my. Carnivals, especially cheap ones, always feel like this to me:
Thursday, April 1, 2010
I LOVE
I love getting flowers! I can't help it, I know it's girly. Yesterday was my first official day as Executive Director of Pathways (as in, I finally moved into my office). To mark the occasion, Robyn got me a sweet single rose and Jill, as usual, spoiled me like crazy with the best smelling boquet ever. I love my amazing friends!
Also, I GOT MY NEW CAMERA LENSE TODAY!! So, pictures pictures pictures!! Can't WAIT to take a photo road trip day SOOOOOOOON (Now I hope that my photo buddy and I can make up --it'll be a lot more fun if he's there!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)