Expectations

Do you remember that old SNL (or was it MadTV) sketch called "Lowered Expectations"...?

Basically, it was a dating service for people who were not so attractive or awesome who had finally gotten realistic, lowered their expectations, and were finding love.

The sketch was hilarious, but I think it parallels a good, deep truth that we all begin to learn in our journey as adults. Or maybe it's not a truth so much as a question:

When you're expectations are never met and you are hurt over and over, is it because you aren't being realistic in what your expectations are? Or are there just really that many people who are incapable of giving you what you need?

And I'm not just talking about romantic relationships here. This applies to ALL of our relationships. Friendships, work relationships, even the level of customer service support you expect to receive.

I just had a really long (slightly drunk) talk with Marci. She made some excellent points. My rommie is a very smart lady. Is it possible that I have devalued myself so far that I'm willing to settle happily for 30% from someone when I always try and give 110%? Maybe. That's entirely possible. It is also possible that through experiences, I've learned to only expect what I know people can give and then dare them to surprise me. Is one way more right? Is it better to be let down all the time or is it better to aim low to begin with so there are no surprises?

I honestly don't know. And so I ponder.

And smile at the thought of the handful of people in my life who DO give back what they get.

And wait, with baited breath, for the guy who really dares to prove me wrong.