So, this is a post that began back in 2007 on my facebook notes page. I like to revisit this one periodically, especially on weeks when I'm feeling especially lonely and left out. Any of my single buddies, you know how this goes. One day you're FINE with your singleness, and then out of no-where you get that lost, sad, stricken, panicked 'i'm going to die alone and why doesn't anyone like me' feeling. So, during one such time, I wrote this little gem:
Here's the thing: I have a "well-meaning friend" who is a married psychology major. She likes to throw little 'I'm better than you because I'm married' darts at me. Here's a dart from a few months back. A bullcrap article from one of her classes about how all women want to be married and we are our own worst enemies because we build these walls because we don't think we deserve to be happy...blah blah blah yadda bullcrap yadda...
The article ends with homework. You're supposed to fill in the blank honestly.
I am still single because ___________.
Then you're supposed to make a committment to 'erase the blank' of your life. *smirk* so here's my homework:
Because I routinely wear old, comfy, holy clothes at home.
Because I dont think its unreasonable to expect a door to be held open for me.
Because I have like ten pillows that each have a specific place when i sleep.
Because I hate finding estranged body hair in my shower/sink/toilet/deodorant/razor.
Because I have a very definite television watching schedule that I adhere to.
Because while I'm an exceptional cook, I'd usually rather just have pizza.
Because toothpaste lasts forever if you don’t have to share it.
Because I like my house to be between 65-72 degrees year round, no matter the bills.
Because I often make strange dinners out of whatever I happen to have in the fridge.
Because I have extraordinarily indescribable bed hair one out of every three nights.
Because I like to stand in front of the mirror and make faces at myself for periods of time.
Because I listen to folk, country, oldies, musicals, etc in the same mix.
Because I spend a lot of time imitating parts of movies I like or singing at a loud volume.
Because my car is usually full of crap and I have no intention of having it detailed.
Because I'd rather take a long, aimless drive with good music and take pics than anything.
Because I hate feeling like I have to explain or justify myself.
Because I usually have at least three unfinished art projects laying around.
Because I can be neurotic like you wouldn’t believe.
Because I can happily spend hours reading, and usually cheesy fiction.
Because I have an extremely strange sense of humor including sarcasm and cheesiness.
Because I am terrible at remembering to take out the trash. I know its gross, but hey.
Because I am unbelievably awkward when it comes to taking money, help, compliments.
Because I can get incredibly insecure and self-protecting.
Because any guy knowing about and seeing first-hand any of the above listed things would find them cute in the beginning but would begin to plot an escape somewhere around month three and frankly I think I’m saving us both a lot of time by skipping ahead to the three month mark and ending it gracefully now since I have no intention of changing any of the above behaviors any time soon.
*Smile* Sometimes it just feels good to remember it all and see it written out like that.
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