Muahahahahaha

Things I would like for people, ESPECIALLY men, to know about courtesy

After conversing with three of my nearest and dearest gal pals in the past few days and reflecting on what we've chatted about, I have a few things I'd like to put out into the ether:

1. It is common courtesy when making plans with another person to both REMEMBER that you've made them and also follow through on actually doing whatever it is you have planned to do. If unable to follow through, the decent thing to do is to notify the other party or parties immediately upon learning that you will be unable to do what you have planned. You know, people make fun of me for making lists and for overpreparing things, and fine--there are definitely times I could relax a bit. HOWEVER, if you're someone I've taken the time to make plans with, it's because you're important to me or the thing we're meeting about or doing is important. So when I take the time to confirm plans with you, it's because I am genuinely looking forward to the thing we're supposed to do. Consequently, when you fail to either keep our plans or notify me of the changes, it makes me feel devalued. If I were a priority to you, you would have found the time and courtesy to either keep the plans or notify me. Also, for men who want to be dating women: when you are wishy-washy and non-committal in your planning, it makes you appear less trustworthy. Just a heads up.

2. Gifts: we all know that it is the thought that counts. ESPECIALLY in romantic settings. However, there comes a point in adult relationships that a gift card just becomes insulting. A gift card says "I haven't paid enough attention to you to know what you'd actually like" OR "Eh, you do it. I can't be bothered." A gift could cost you nothing and take you a few hours to make and be more loved and valued than a $200 necklace. At some point "You're hard to shop for" becomes a bullshit cop out.

3. If you like someone romantically, then you FUCKING make time for them. Do not expect someone to make you a priority in their life when they are a convenience or an option in yours. Turnabout is fair play and you get what you give.

4. Being a good person and making good choices does not guarantee that you will be happy or get what you deserve. EVERYONE should keep this in mind, especially if you're someone who currently happens to be happy and in love and are friends with people who are not. Those of us who aren't currently happily ensconced in lovey-dovey land are VERY happy for you. We are your friends and we love you. But please remember, our entire lives and our relationships with you will not suddenly REVOLVE around your new boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee, husband, or wife. If you and I were friends before your honey bunny came into the picture, and you'd like to keep that friendship, I highly recommend that you remember to periodically ask about ME and MY life and that every time we DO talk about my life it's not an opportunity for you to say things like "you're such a great catch, I know you'll meet someone amazing and then we can double date!" I do not want either your false reassurances OR your underhanded attempt to bring the conversation back to you.

5. I will make mistakes in my dating life. I've made some EPIC ones previously and I'm almost certain to make more. I'm glad we're close enough for you to be honest with me and tell me what you think about my situation, but realize that at the end of the day, I will make whatever choice I decide to make with or without your approval. I'm the one who has to go home with me when the night is over and live with what I've done, not you. So if I go out on a thin limb or swing for the fence on a longshot, then keep your mouth shut on the sidelines unless it's to cheer me on. And if I fall on my face or humiliate myself, then yes, friend, I expect you to grab me an ice pack, and bring over a bottle of wine and a funny movie. It's the LEAST you can do since I know you'll be doing the 'I told you so' tapdance sooner or later.

6. Men, get your shit together. Women, you get your shit together, too. At some point we all need to stop expecting perfection from each other. We are real people, warts and all, and this clip from Dan Savage is possibly one of the most accurate things I have EVER come across regarding relationships.



So here are my five or less things that I think for me are legitimate deal breakers in a relationship:

1. If you ever hurt me on purpose, either blatantly or by your total thoughtlessness. This includes your apathy, which is worse than your fist.

And that's it. Honestly, after thinking about this for two days, that's the ONLY unforgivable thing I can think of.

Current Guilty Pleasure Musical LOVE

Thanks to Sylwia.

The artist?  Gustav.  A badass German chick with a macbook pro and a voice.

The song du jour?   Total Quality Woman.

The Nativity Story for 2010

http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/tech/2010/12/17/nativity.via.social.media.cnn.html

TOTALLY WORTH THE VIEWING :-)

Hockey Honey

This is the hott cartoon version of me.  As a Pens fan.  Tied to a hockey stick.
Rob Ullman is a talented dude.

WHAT the WHAT?!

I'm Super Happy for this Couple, but...............

Before/After

This is the first in what I hope will be a series I do.

Before/After.

Truthful Musing tinged with Unintentional Meanness

A very strange thing happened to me just now.

I saw your face in a photograph.
The same face I could once draw from memory.
I stared and stared at that pleasing mash up of dark hair and angles.
It felt...odd. 
Like glancing at the face of a stranger on the subway.
I used to see those chocolate eyes and know in a flash what you were thinking.
Now this stranger's brown eyes seem distant and blank.
I would laugh at your silly posing and visualize the context and whatever shenanigan you were enjoying.
Now you just look super gay those jeans shorts.
It's rather like seeing a little known D list celebrity show up to an awards show in the wrong dress--mildly tragic and uninteresting.
There is a strange, vaguely handsome but primarily uninteresting man in this photograph.  He is wearing jeans shorts and a vacant expression.
Hm.

Some of the people I love...

The Jessicas

Squinty me with 'make a weird face in every photo' Stephen

Me with Ellis, one of the world's most interesting people

So the skeptic is proven wrong, and the results are DELICIOUS

I was thinking today how nice it would be to find a small batch baking recipe for an actual, no-pudding in the mix, cheesecake.  Thinking it would be hopeless, imagine my surprise to find this little gem:

1 Ready Made graham cracker crust (chocolate or regular)
1 8 oz package of cream cheese (or Neufschatel, which has 1/3 less fat)
2/3 C sour cream (Don't use light! Trust me, it never bakes as well)
1 tsp vanilla extract (rum vanilla is best, but any will do)
2 eggs
1/2 C sugar (I don't know if I would risk a sugar sub on this one)
2 tsp 100% pure lemon juice

Toss everything into a blender and blend until smooth and then pour into crust.  It will be a liquid, don't panic--it firms up in the oven.   It's a good idea to let the unbaked cake sit for 20 minutes or so before baking to allow some of the bubbles to settle out. Bake at 350 for 12-15 minutes.  Sidenote:  if you plan to bake this in a toaster oven, the temp and baking time will vary, meaning plan a longer baketime.   If the center doesn't jiggle when you shake the pan, the cake is done.  To help prevent cracking, turn off heat and leave cake in oven to cool slowly over 3-5 hours (although, let's be real, here--when has cheesecake EVER lasted that long in your kitchen?)  

Okay,  small batch cheesecake requiring no skills other than blending, pouring, and turning on an oven?  So obviously I had to test this recipe out. 

HOLY COW, it worked.  Now, will I say it's the best cheesecake I've ever eaten?  Nope.  But it's not bad, folks. Not bad at ALL.  And it's such a delightfully basic recipe that you could easily jazz it up in any number of ways (or not, if you're a purist).

Oh boy....

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/23202-taking-the-missionary-position

Kentucky

This Made my ENTIRE week

Stand By Me from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

Playing For Change
Song Around The World

Logo

The second one from the top is the main logo.  Everything else is a variation for other uses.

Because I LOVE well done a'capella....

Yellow

Fun Hair.....

Yes.

Goals and Reality

Goal weight for optimal healthiness? 175.

*sigh*

Literally miles to go before I sleep. Between Ballroom and Zumba (both tonight) I'm going to have to go with Zumba. As much as I really enjoyed ballroom, Zumba is a better workout. I'm hoping to get my schedule all worked out so I can get back to ballroom and still be able to do Zumba 3X a week, but with my late Thursdays at Pathways, I haven't figured out how to pull that off yet. As of now, the best solution is to buy Zumba and do it at home, but I wonder if I will work as hard at home alone as I do in a group...... *sigh*

So with colder weather here, I think I want to cut swimming back to once or twice a week, do biking twice a week, Zumba 3X a week, and at least one day of just yoga/toning.

I think I need to make a whole new chart :(

eh. It's whatever.
I'm still really happy it's fall.

Falling in love with Autumn

I love all of the seasons for various reasons, but fall is probably my favorite.

The world is changing colors, the days are getting shorter, the air is getting cooler, and you get to a place where curling up with a hot cup of cocoa and a blanket sounds really good.

It's the time I love to be outdoors and the time I kick hand crafting into high gear.

Currently in process? A lap quilt to donate to the nursing home, to be followed by a shawl and a few pairs of leg warmers. After that? Let the Christmas gift making frenzy begin!

When making my gifting list this year, I started to feel overwhelmed. I was thinking about how I have so many people I feel obligated to. And then it hit me: screw that.

I think this should be about showing the people who meant a lot to you during a particular year how much you love and/or appreciate them. Obligations be damned. So, with a considerably lighter--but much more meaningful--list....I'm all smiles. What can I make each of you, I wonder, that will be as special and awesome as you deserve? We shall see.

I'm also tired of stressing out about every other blasted thing on earth, lol. Relationships, my work, my future, etc. So I'm going to try something new for a few weeks. I'm going to wake up early, enjoy each day as it comes, and not try and force resolutions on anything. I'm not good at relaxing. You almost have to MAKE me to even get it to happen, but maybe this is the next best thing? Not 'relaxing' per se, but rather 'taking everything in slow stride, not planning everything.'

Here's hoping.
So here's to a month of no big changes or decisions ;)

Also, best tip ever? Make your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe, but instead of eggs, use sweetened condensed milk. Then you can eat the unbaked dough worry free! Also, roll into balls and coat in chocolate for killer truffles.

And lastly, because EVERYONE loves Irish Soda Bread:::::BEST RECIPE EVER:::::::

3 1/2 C flour
1 tsp salt
1/4 C sugar
1/2 tsp soda
4 tsp baking powder
1/4 C whole fennel seeds
1 C golden raisins (I soak mine in rum and microwave for 2 mins)
2 C buttermilk
1 large egg.

Heat oven to 350.

Mix together dry ingredients, add fennel and raisins last Mix.
Whisk egg into milk. Add milk and egg into dry ingredients and stir until JUST combined. Do not overwork.

Scrape dough into greased 10" round pan (like you use for layer cake)

Bake for 50 minutes.

Serve warm or cool, toasted or not, sliced thin, with butter. SOOOO GOOOD!!

ENJOY FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kids are SO PHOTOGENIC! A Recent Shoot:

http://storytellerstudios.wordpress.com/category/kidsfamilies/

Copy/paste into your address bar :-)

6 Months worth of Phone PIcs

Kolby is 2 months old

I'm getting one of these.

Different

So....
What do you do when you realize that some of the deepest parts of who you always thought you were are actually...well...lies?
How do you reconcile that what you've always thought you wanted may not have been what you wanted at all?

How do you react when what makes you happy doesn't make any sense at all?

Or do you just shut up and enjoy the happy?

Have you Ever

met someone and then BAM!

your face feels like it's cracking from all of the smiling?
you can't believe you have only known them for such a short time?
you haven't laughed so hard or been so honest.....EVER?

*EPIC SIGH*

Don't wanna jinx it, don't wanna jinx it, don't wanna jinkx it....

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

If I could turn myself into a super bouncy ball for two hours, MAYBE that would be long enough to bounce out some of this NUTTY CRAZY ENERGY.

*SQUEAK*

oh gosh

butterflies, giant smile that will NOT come off of my face, and doing something i never thought i would do........
yeah, there's a guy.
maybe.
probably.
ahhhhhhhhhh. really really really like. extra super like.
okay, stopping now.


bye.

Distance from The Fam

Today, Marci and Brent are in Barcelona. Liz, Derrell, and Di are in Tallahassee. But if I close my eyes and breathe deep, I can conjure up a great night of maduros and the dollar movie, and have you all beside me in a heartbeat.

Today I really miss you. But as much as I miss you guys, I'm equally grateful that just memories of your awesomeness are potent enough to hug my heart on rough days.

:-)

Musings & Laughing at Myself

I've been doing a lot of driving lately.

The two and a half hours to and from Oklahoma City twice a week has become as familiar to me as any of the other roads I've driven in the last five years of my life. I say only the last five because I feel that, for me, 2005 marks the start of my adult life.

It was the year I graduated college, moved a thousand miles from my family and anything familiar, and started to make my own way. Through Graduate School, becoming Catholic, falling in love with films, falling in love with people, and ultimately getting my heart broken, the last five years of my life have shaped and formed who I am in very different ways from the first 22.

I'm feeling now as though I'm standing on a precipice-in a holding pattern of sorts-chomping at the bit. It sounds cheesy, but I honestly feel as though I'm living each day right now waiting for my 'real' life to begin.

And then I realize.....I've felt this way before. In 2001. I had just graduated high school, was moving two hours away to start college, and had a whole world of new people and experiences to explore! So, in one of those two and a half hour drives back from Oklahoma City yesterday, I let my mind slide over my time in Weatherford. I realize that I had thought and felt at the end of that the same way that I feel about the end of Tallahassee. I thought 'I've LIVED here. I've really grown up. I've learned so much and come so far. I loved here, grew here, fell in love here, got my heart broken here...'

Such a familiar train of thought. Sure, the people and faces were different. The heartbreaks and lessons were not the same, though similar. But it occurs to me that in the last ten years my life has split itself into two distinct periods that are very nearly xerox copies of one another.

I think about theatre, and then film, and how both of them scared the hell out of me even while they delighted me, and how I will always, ALWAYS, want them in my life.

I think about Thomas, who saw me one night singing and acting a mediocre holiday play on a mediocre stage and loved me, and how he's the only man, in his simplicity, who ever really made me believe that he did. I think about his accident that has taken his mind from him, and taken him from all of us. And I miss him so much that I can't think about it or my heart aches all over-not because I want to be with him now (I know we weren't ever really going to work long term) but because on one night, under my front porch light, he smiled, told me he loved me, cursed himself for it, and then kissed me. And in the cursing, I found an honest charm. And oh God! I miss my friend.

I think about Ryan, who stood next to me at sunrise one morning on set, and how before sunrise the next day, he'd become an integral part of my life. I think about how he fit so easily, loved so easily, and how when it all came crashing down around me I realized that part of me was always insecure about it, the way we were quietly frantic about each other, through all of our talks and even though we tried to be as honest as we both could, when it came to love, I'd never really believed him anyway. The hours and hours of talking had never been as real as a boy who cursed at me and kissed me on night on a front porch. But with Ryan, I had tried to build. I had worked at it, cultivated it, and we had failed. And I forgive us both because in the end, he would have never made me as happy as I deserve to be anyway. I'm glad for the miles between us now, and without malice, I wish him well knowing that we would never have been enough for each other in so many ways.

I think about opening night jitters and how they are just like premiere jitters, and how no matter how many gigs I get, compliments I get, I will always feel like I'm playing dress up and praying no one notices that the shoes are just a little too big.


I think about the family that I built for myself, and smile because I can almost feel my heart physically swell at the incredible people who form a wall around me and the rest of the world.

I spent all day yesterday with one of the most handsome, capable, and fun men I've ever met. And it hit me somewhere in the middle of the afternoon that I was sweat covered, makeup free, and driving him around in my beat up old car and that none of that bothered me. I wanted to laugh out loud, delighted with myself, realizing that five, or even two years ago, I would have spent all day with him nervous, trying to present myself as prettily as possible, frantically cleaning my car, coming up with charming things to say. But yesterday? Yesterday I was just me, quietly going about my day with my new friend, and dammit, I really like me now.

I genuinely, whole heartedly like who I've become. And even though there are things about myself that drive me totally nuts, and things I would change if I could, at the heart of everything, I can live with myself. And what's more, I like living with myself. And that is a hell of a thing.

I think about the next five years of my life, and wonder whether it, too, will echo the patterns of my past.

What will hurt more? What will be more fun? Who will I meet? Who will I keep? How will I live? Where will I live?

And so I'm in the car, laughing and crying and dreaming about what's next. And knowing that whatever it is,

I will leave Oklahoma to find it.

Excitement!!

i JUST finished planning out my New Orleans trip for this coming January.
I'm FINALLY going to go! Whoohooo!

Jan 4-9, little hotel in the French Quarter, tour of the city, Jazz cruise the night of my birthday, history, culture, beignets, and zydeco. There's literally NO way this will be a bad trip. Even if I end up going totally by myself.
Right?

Right.

I hope.

:-)

I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it....

but the lady who interviewed me today for the Director of Religious Education job was like

"and HOW old are you?"

27.

"and you've NEVER been married?"

no, ma'am.

"you don't have ANY children?"

no, ma'am.

"Oh."


So yeah, maybe that immediately disqualifies me from teaching kids. You know, the fact that I don't sleep around and have 3 fatherless kiddos.

*sigh*

And I guess the fact that I'd really LIKE to be married and have kids wouldn't count....

I would....

barter nearly anything for a backrub right now. The last two days have been rough. I also wouldn't turn down a foot rub.
And a giant switch to turn off my brain so that I can fall asleep.
*sigh*

Gibberish Equates to

Long Weeks+best friends+great opportunities+self doubt+career win+personal loss+phone call from ex whatever+holding another new baby+messing something up+more self doubt+epic career win+no one to celebrate it with+long drives+no one to call+nostalgia+almost thirty+terror+hollow+cheesy pick me up movie+amazing moon+no ones hand to hold while I look at it =

alone.

MORE PICS OF KOLBY!

KOLBY WALTER SALMANS

My nephew is amazing.

Pretty

My Best Friend Got Married.

SWEET and bitter

I finished my first official week on the art team of a FEATURE FILM today!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And then I took myself out to Cheesecake Factory for some chocolate deliciousness.
Because, hey, this week was kind of a big deal and I NAILED it.
And since I come home to no one at the end of the day, I'm sharing my joy and total girlish giddiness with the random internet passerby.

And resorting to taking myself on a date.

:-\

:-)

:-\

Tired? Um....yes.

102 degrees. No sleep. No makeup. Occasional shower.
Exhausted?
You betcha.
LOVING being involved in this kind of work again?
HELL yes.
Until I see pictures like this, that is ;-)

Rattling around in my head

I don't feel like being poetic or profound, so I won't be. I'll be simple.

I'm tired.
Quartz is awesome and I'm loving being surrounded by so much BRILLIANT creative talent. The faculty is amazing, the kids are inspiring, and it makes me jealous as hell of the fact that these are kids who have an actual shot at doing art for a living because people gave a crap about them and told them it was possible. I have two art degrees and only get to be a part time artist. But still, part time is better than not at all, I suppose.
I'm feeling guilty, like I put Pathways on a waaaaay back back burner this week. Pathways should NEVER been treated like that, so I'm taking five minutes of downtime at my office this morning to collect myself and refocus. Part of that is ranting this out.
Two of the coolest women I'm blessed to know got engaged last week. Another one of my friends announced she and her hubby were pregnant. The biggest part of my heart is happy and excited for them. My brother got married on Monday, which is super awesome. (except I couldn't go, but I guess in the long run, that doesn't matter too much). All of these people in and around my life are actually doing the one thing I can't seem to manage: growing up to live normal lives. And again, just like with the kids at camp, I'm jealous as hell.

It's a hard week for me, friends.
I have been completely disrespected by a man I really looked up to for a number of years and then, once again, I've been congratulating people for doing the things that I want most to do in the world (family, love, etc...)
I know that my life is not bad. Of course I know that people are much much worse off than me.
But every so often I just need to stand on a mountain at the top of the world and scream out "I did everything right! I followed all the rules! Why don't I get to be happy?"

Because if I'm honest about it, I'm not happy. Not even close.

So I'll spend today at Pathways, praying like mad that God helps me shake off the resentment that I have toward these kids who broke all of the rules and seem so happy.
And I'll go back to camp and work on my dress for Marci and Brent's wedding in a few weeks.

And I'll do it all knowing that this week, today, in the depths of my heart and soul, I am truly angry at God. Because today I truly don't believe that He never makes mistakes.

Heroes

are not usually the people we invent them to be in our minds.

Bucket List Beginnings

I just kind of randomly decided that I should start keeping an informal running list of "Bucket List" items as they occur to me. So to start...

1. Go to Ireland
2. Go to New Orleans
3. Record a CD
4. Hug Dolly Parton
5. Go to Vatican City
6. Publish a Book
7. Own a B&B
8. Spend an entire summer on a US Roadtrip
9. Belt 'Sweet Caroline' with thousands of others at a Red Sox Game
10. Sing the National Anthem at any sporting event
11. Play a love song on the guitar to someone, play it well, and mean it
12. Get a Doctorate
13. Make love under the stars
14. Design my own house
15. See a show on Broadway
16. Go to the San Francisco Farmer's Market
17. See the Grand Canyon with someone I love
18. Stay the night in a castle
19. Ride in a hot air balloon
20. Live in Alaska

There are and will be TONS more, but this is all stuff I seriously WANT to do, even if it's just once. It's nice sometimes to let your mind wander and think about stuff like this.
AND if you happen to find someone amazing to do all of your bucket list stuff with, it makes it all even sweeter.

Living like Alanis

Irony:

I have two jobs. The first one is where I convince other people to keep and cherish one of the things I want most in the world: I struggle to be loving and non-judgemental in the face of those who would blithely destroy what I would die for.

The second job? I stand apart, behind a small piece of glass, and record the glad times of others. I am an invisible voyeur, a stalker of joy. No one will ever know I was there and yet it is my hand, my eye, that records and displays your happy moments.



I live my life on the coat tails of others.

How am I supposed to feel about that?

Liz and D's wedding blog

CLICK HERE

Liz & D

First of SEVERAL long photo blogs

Spooning leads to Forking

The Fam.

More pics of the Murphy wedding will be posted after I've slept for SEVERAL hours.

Guilty

I'm feeling increasingly guilty about leaving town in light of the fact that I have SO much to do at Pathways.
I realize I'm only going to be gone for about 4 days and that I will, in fact, be working my butt off photographing three days worth of nuptual events. But still.

I lack the capacity to take it easy. I so envy that trait in others that says "I've done my work, now I can rest." I always feel guilty, like I should be doing something else. Often, instead of asking people "How ya doing?" I will say things like "So what are you working on these day?"
I caught myself doing that one day a few weeks ago.
I think that in itself is a very telling turn of phrase.

Somehow, I must subconsciously think if I am not busy I will die. :-)

Every year I promise myself I will slow down, and every year I seem to try and fit in more. Some months I'm better about it than others.

Reminds me of the song that says:

She never slows down
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down

Lyrics

I feel so helpless now
My guitar is not around
And I'm struggling with the xylophone
To make these feelings sound
And I'm remembering you singing
And bringin' you to life
It's raining out the window
And today it looks like night

You haven't written to me in a week
I'm wondering why that is
Are you too nervous to be lovers
Friendship's ruined with just one kiss?
I watched you very closely, I saw you look away
Your eyes are either gray or blue
I'm never close enough to say

But your sweatshirt says it all
With the hood over your face
I can't keep starin' at your mouth
Without wonderin' how it tastes
I'm with another boy
(He's asleep, I'm wide awake )
And he tried to win my heart
But it's taken
(Time...)

I know the shape of your hands
Because I watch 'em when you talk
And I know the shape of your body
'Cause I watch it when you walk
And I want to know it all
But I'm giving you the lead
So go on, go on and take it
Don't fake it, shake it

(Charming
Crazy eyes have you
Are they gray or blue?
I won't make the move
You must make the move
If you make the move
I will then approve
If you do not move
We will surely lose...)

Don't second-guess your feelings
You were right from the start
And I notice she's your lover
But she's nowhere near your heart
This city is for strangers
Like the sky is for the stars
But I think it's very dangerous
If we do not take what's ours

And I'm winning you with words
Because I have no other way
I'd love to look into your face
Without your eyes turning away
Last night I watched you sing
Because a person has to try
And I walked home in the rain
Because a person cannot lie...

"Fun Day"

This is my occasional self-proclaimed holiday. Every now and again, you just need to proclaim that "Today, I will sleep in, do fun things, and not deal with stress!"

Today's Fun Day festivities were great! Steve + lunch + Hobby Lobby + Target + Strawberry Cheesecake + Iron Man 2 + Beatles.....

YESSSSS.

MUCH needed and so enjoyed.

We made the paper again! Yay!

Pathways Pregnancy Resource Center Blog

In OTHER news...
I need a road trip. Or a boyfriend. Preferably both. And maybe New Orleans.

Open Mic

I would cover the HELL out of this song at an open mic

THIS SONG

You know it would be awesome.
Stop judging.

Cheap Eats

So, one of my FAVORITE things to eat for dinner in the summer is also one of the cheapest meals you can make.

Salmon Croquettes or Salmon Cakes:
1 small can salmon, flaked (or leftover salmon, about 1/2Cup)
2 TBS diced onion
2 TBS diced red bell pepper
1 TBS spicy brown mustard
pinch of salt
pinch of black pepper
pinch of ground red pepper (optional)
1 egg
1/2 C plain bread crumbs plus extra for dusting
chives are optional

Mix everything with a fork until moist and well blended.

You can make these appetizer size OR burger size (for sandwiches)
Make even sized patties and dust with extra bread crumbs.
Fry in shallow oil, about 2 minutes per side.

Serve and eat as you would crab cakes, but at a FRACTION of the cost. I actually like the taste of these better ;-)

Sometimes I serve them with coleslaw, sometimes with rice. Either way, this is a satisfying but LIGHT meal for the hotter days of the year.

Enjoy!

One of these days...

I just can't seem to shake it off this week.

My life is a giant cycle of irony.

I think I need a drink, a huge ego boost, and Mika-cranked up-car singing screaming 'why don't you like me why don't you like me"

Grace Kelly

Yeehaw!! Bang! Bang!

lol....
couldn't resist the blog title.

I just signed on to costume design a really cool little film project.



I just finished the script and it's gonna be FUN!! Plus I get to work with Sylwia, who is one of my favorite people.

So what if I just added like 30% workload to my life. It'll just feel like Tallahassee again, and as they say, there's no place like home ;-)

Re-Visiting an Old Friend

So, this is a post that began back in 2007 on my facebook notes page. I like to revisit this one periodically, especially on weeks when I'm feeling especially lonely and left out. Any of my single buddies, you know how this goes. One day you're FINE with your singleness, and then out of no-where you get that lost, sad, stricken, panicked 'i'm going to die alone and why doesn't anyone like me' feeling. So, during one such time, I wrote this little gem:

Here's the thing: I have a "well-meaning friend" who is a married psychology major. She likes to throw little 'I'm better than you because I'm married' darts at me. Here's a dart from a few months back. A bullcrap article from one of her classes about how all women want to be married and we are our own worst enemies because we build these walls because we don't think we deserve to be happy...blah blah blah yadda bullcrap yadda...
The article ends with homework. You're supposed to fill in the blank honestly.
I am still single because ___________.
Then you're supposed to make a committment to 'erase the blank' of your life. *smirk* so here's my homework:
Because I routinely wear old, comfy, holy clothes at home.
Because I dont think its unreasonable to expect a door to be held open for me.
Because I have like ten pillows that each have a specific place when i sleep.
Because I hate finding estranged body hair in my shower/sink/toilet/deodorant/razor.
Because I have a very definite television watching schedule that I adhere to.
Because while I'm an exceptional cook, I'd usually rather just have pizza.
Because toothpaste lasts forever if you don’t have to share it.
Because I like my house to be between 65-72 degrees year round, no matter the bills.
Because I often make strange dinners out of whatever I happen to have in the fridge.
Because I have extraordinarily indescribable bed hair one out of every three nights.
Because I like to stand in front of the mirror and make faces at myself for periods of time.
Because I listen to folk, country, oldies, musicals, etc in the same mix.
Because I spend a lot of time imitating parts of movies I like or singing at a loud volume.
Because my car is usually full of crap and I have no intention of having it detailed.
Because I'd rather take a long, aimless drive with good music and take pics than anything.
Because I hate feeling like I have to explain or justify myself.
Because I usually have at least three unfinished art projects laying around.
Because I can be neurotic like you wouldn’t believe.
Because I can happily spend hours reading, and usually cheesy fiction.
Because I have an extremely strange sense of humor including sarcasm and cheesiness.
Because I am terrible at remembering to take out the trash. I know its gross, but hey.
Because I am unbelievably awkward when it comes to taking money, help, compliments.
Because I can get incredibly insecure and self-protecting.
Because any guy knowing about and seeing first-hand any of the above listed things would find them cute in the beginning but would begin to plot an escape somewhere around month three and frankly I think I’m saving us both a lot of time by skipping ahead to the three month mark and ending it gracefully now since I have no intention of changing any of the above behaviors any time soon.




*Smile* Sometimes it just feels good to remember it all and see it written out like that.

new website

www.storytellerstudios.wordpress.com

Published Author ;-)

http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/9643258

Studio

To studio or not to studio? That is the question...

I have a line on a possible loft space on the square in downtown Mangum. I'm not HUGELY fond of shooting posed studio shots, but it's a very easy walk to the fun and funky downtown and plus, I can control the level of cheesiness I allow in my studio (not getting the background that looks like laser beams, for example...)

The more I think about this, the more I enjoy the possibilities. We shall see. We shall see.....

Also, today is the 15th Anniversary of the OKC Bombing. Because of that, I'm reposting some pics: